Are you that person who is always critical, never sees anything good in what someone else does, always criticizing others?

You can’t be happy for someone else’s success, discovery or victory?

You loathe people who do well, have money or are successful?

Are you the one who picks on people you think are weak, just to make yourself feel better?

You Abuse, degrade, humiliate anyone who crosses your path?

You envy someone else because you feel they are always getting the attention you deserve?

You’re always getting in a quarrel or fight because you feel no one respects you, people look down on you?

Are You the one who writes nasty comments on someone’s page, photo or story on Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram twitter or any other social media page. You do this because you say to yourself, what’s making this one happy? What’s happened to him or her that hasn’t happened to someone else before?

Or are you the one who never likes or loves a picture because you can’t stand to see someone happy? How can she have a man and I don’t, I need to make her lose the man. I need to make the girl leave him you say. Why does he have to be happy and am not? What can I come up with, maybe tell a lie, and discourage him or her so they separate? Set him or her up, maybe that’s better? Yes. That’s what I need to do if I can’t have him or her, no one can

I’m miserable, so No one should be happy. I can’t stand to see them happy. Am bitter, Am sad, I hate myself, why am I still here? , you say


The truth is everyone can change, if you haven’t changed you just haven’t found the right motivation. Motivation can come as a person, word, circumstance, and rule or just when you realize that you need to change. For example:

Everyone pleads with a drunkard to stop drinking or he will kill himself, but he says he will never stop drinking and smoking. Then one day he collapses and is rushed to the hospital. The doctor examines him and say, “your liver is almost destroyed, one more drink and you could die”. The motivation here is the fear of dying, so the man stops drinking.

A lot of the time, God gives so many the grace to change. Some rely on time and change themselves eventually. For the rest, who refuse to change when they could, and then its too late and the questions becomes; if only.

Change can be the best way to a happier, more fulfilled life.

Now for those who want to be happy and live a fulfilled life, here are a few things that would help;

  • Accept who you are, stop thinking about things you don’t have and focus on those you do. Stop saying “if only I look this way or have that car, or live in this place or have plenty of money or marry that person, I would be happy”
  • Remember, what you have, where you grew up, who your parents are, what you wear, the way you look or speak, DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE.
  • Most of you have heard the saying “You get what you give?” Just Love yourself and people will too.
  • Stop obsessing you are so obsessed with the things you don’t have that you are never happy or satisfied with what you have and too blind to see the new opportunities open for you. That’s got to stop and your life will be less stressful.
  • Take time to look around, thank God for all the beauty around. Waking up in the morning, as I always say, that’s priceless. Learn to appreciate all you have, it could be worse. Remember the story of the man who had just one pair of shoes, he mourned and complained until he found a man with no shoes. The man with no shoes mourned and complained until he found a man with no legs. That’s life, God always gives us something to be thankful for.
  • Gratitude is key, always be grateful for what you have, being ungrateful turns you into a bitter, cynical person, rather than a happy, optimistic one. Be thankful for every single thing. You can recite this chorus every day, it should help. “Count your blessings, name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done”.
  • Don’t take everything to heart, analyzing everything, trying to find a reason for it happening, blaming your friends, evil forces from the village etc., will only make you paranoid and make your life complicated.
  • Be optimistic, see the positive side of everything happening around you. “It could be worse”, is what I say when situations that try to shake me come.
  • Stop being afraid, it’s a natural reaction to uncertain circumstances that befall us, but remember it starts with the way you think. Failure, disappointments and uncertainty help us to grow and do things differently and we become better people at the end of the day. You can’t keep doing the same thing all the time and expect a different result.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others, stop measuring your life with others. You don’t know what challenges they are battling with, you can only see the side they present. Niccolo Machiavelli said something along these lines, it is better to act as if you are good than actually be good because people only see what you show them but don’t know who you really are. Nobody has the right over your life, be who you are, love yourself, have self-worth and you will attract the right people. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Get rid of all the negative people in your life. There are some people you do not need. People full of hate, self-loathe, envy, bad habits and toxic thoughts. Having these negative people around you will make you sad and miserable. Someone said, “Equate negative people to mosquitoes and put some repellent on so they can’t suck the life out of you”.
  • Don’t seek for validation or acceptance from someone else. You should not live your life trying to be a certain way, so people can like you or accept you. Be yourself, love yourself and the right people will gravitate towards you.
  • Make sure to follow your dreams, don’t be scared to go for what you want. God’s purpose for you is different from someone else. If they don’t understand it, that’s because it’s your dream not there’s.

But above all, remember, always be grateful for what you have, millions pray every day to be just like you. No one has everything they want, they just learn to make the most of what they have.

Remember to be a blessing to yourself and to others. Don’t forget to make a difference.

Love you real good

She Heals @2019. Image by rawpixel.com on freepik




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