“You are no good, all your friends and mates are married, have children and are doing well. What’s the matter with you, why can’t you get your life together? The most annoying thing is that you pray, fast all the time, are you the only one here, why are you so unlucky, I don’t think God loves you, just go worship some deity maybe you will have better luck with it. Useless girl, good for nothing, I almost regret the day I had you, look at Gloria’s mum, she came to my shop the other day and was telling me how Gloria is coming to take her to the city to live because she has just built a house for her mother and is buying her a car and getting a driver, you remember Gloria, you both played right here in our compound, her parents were so poor she had to eat here most times. When you came 1st in class she will come 20 something, now look at your life and you both live in that city, why is yours different. By the way what are you doing here, this nonsense material and provisions you bought me, is that what I want to eat. I beg go away, don’t come back until, you have something worthwhile to discuss or show me”
“Mama, Mama, why do you hate me? Please don’t give up on me, I know everything will be alright, the God I serve will never forsake me, his times are not our times, please Mama be patient with me, I love you”
I sat in my apartment thinking back at what my mother had said to me 4 weeks ago when I went to see her back in the village. I couldn’t understand why she would say those terrible things to me her only child, my father, God bless him, was a kind and compassionate man. He would lay hands on me and prophesy all the great things God had ordained for me, he died a year ago from a motorbike accident. Ever since then my mother has gotten worse, she keeps complaining about living in the village, she’s lonely, she wants me to get married, buy a house so she can come to live with me. She wants to travel abroad like her friend, Benjamin’s mum, who was flown to America to take care of her son’s children. She wants to go to London like Jessica’s mum, who goes and comes like it’s just the next city. She wants to wear the latest lace, expensive gold, shoes and bags. But I cannot afford all that now besides am not married.
Am 31, not married, no children, don’t own a house nor a car. I do however have a job, not well paid though and not where I should be. I have a 1st class in business administration, I have a master’s in business management, I have gone for the manager’s programme at business school. But am still a checking clerk at the Bank. Yes I work in a bank but what am I doing there, I should be a bank manager.
Joan, Yewande, Teni and I all finished university at the same time. Looking back at our lives I do see what my mum is saying.
Joan, she is a lawyer, works with her hubby, they have been married for 6 years and have 2 children. Yewande, a business graduate like me, she relocated to the UK, works with a huge multinational company flying all around the world, and she’s Successful and happily married with children. Teni, she’s a supermodel, she’s on every catwalk you can think of and she is also happily married with a son. Moi, single, not happy with my job, lonely, hated by my mum, borderline frustrated.
My mum is right, I do pray and fast every time, I was a size 12, I shrunk to a size 8, due to all this fasting and praying. Why can’t I get a husband? It’s not as if I don’t socialize, am always at weddings, birthday parties, church and co. but none of them seems interested in me, what’s wrong with me. The other day, Edward my married colleague at work, suggested I go to a white garment church to get my head washed when I complained to him. Am asking myself if I should consider that.
All this journey down memory lane, feeling sorry for myself was in December three years ago, then fast forward to this year, early in January, I had just turned 34, and my life took a new turn. I was fired from work, the Bank was downsizing and I was brought down to size. Paid 2 months’ salary and a thank you for your service reference, I found myself out of work and completely miserable but thankfully still on the borderline of total frustration. I resorted to fast and pray again, but this time about God’s will for my life. I felt I had been asking God for what I wanted and doing it my way, based on my own ability and it got me nowhere, so let’s try this Gods way.
Last week in January, I went for a friends 40th birthday party. He was my neighbor in the apartment block I lived in. married with 2 children, his wife and I were friends but she recently relocated to Canada with the children, he was still back here, waiting to work out his contract with his present employer. His friends had insisted he celebrate this birthday because it was significant. They organized everything.
I arrived right on time as was my usual practice, final touches were still being done at the lounge where it was being held. Bolaji one of his friends spotted me as I walked in and came over. He apologized for the ‘African time’ factor, led me to a seat and said he will be right back. A few minutes later he was back with a snack platter and a bottle of Baileys. I smiled, thanked him and said I didn’t drink alcohol, besides I would wait until the party started before I ate. He smiled and said, no way, I got here first and need to at least taste his baking to see if it meets my standard. I was taken aback, “You baked these?” I asked, pointing to the array of snacks on the platter. “Yes, I bake, cook and own this joint”. Secondly, I asked why my opinion mattered. He smiled and said, “you will find out soon enough” and he turned around and went back to moving some seats around. As he walked off, I tried not to stare but my eyes kept wondering to him, he was so sweet, soft-spoken, handsome, tall and had a sense of humor, my kind of guy, why couldn’t God just give me him?
The party was great, I sat with this four single ladies who spent the whole evening gossiping about all the guys, one told me Bolaji was happily married, which was a shame because he was my spec. I had so much fun, didn’t see much of Bolaji, between him being dragged around by a lady I guessed was his wife and being the host, he was really busy attending to everyone, I was a bit disappointed he didn’t come back to see me but I brushed it off, consoling myself that he was married anyway, where could it lead.
Two weeks into February, my neighbor knocked on my door just as I arrived back home from looking for work. I opened the door, he apologized for disturbing me and asked if I was busy on the coming Saturday, I asked why he said a friend was opening his restaurant and he felt I might like to go. I had nothing to do anyway, so I obliged. He said we would leave around 4 pm. On Saturday I was ready, wore a nice Ankara dress with sandals and had my hair in a ponytail. We arrived around 3.55pm and this time most people were already seated. The friendly waiter led us to a table with 2 other people already sitting on it. Drinks were served immediately. On the dot of 4pm, the owner came out and wow!!, it was Bolaji, he looked at me winked and said “Today marks 2 significant events in my life, one am opening my dream restaurant and 2, I have a surprise for you all. First I want to thank a beautiful young lady who taught me how to keep my time British, instead of African, hence the start at 4 pm as stated”. After he paused, everyone cheered and clapped. He got off the makeshift stage and walked in the direction of our table and came up towards me, stopped in front of me and ……(pause) let me fast forward a bit.
My mum was sited next to me, talking to 2 little girls, offering them sweets and asking them to please stop asking her questions. The journey was long and she needed to sleep so that she will feel fresh once she arrived. But no way they were so excited and kept asking her all sorts….
That’s life for you, it doesn’t matter how late you start, the point is you started, it doesn’t matter what your mates, siblings, friends are doing, your time will come and when it does, God will crown all your efforts with success. Well, that day Bolaji knelt down in front of me, in the presence of everyone and proposed to me. He said the first day I walked into his lounge he knew I was the one, he had met me once before in our apartment building when he came to see his friend but I completely ignored him, I also felt he was married, he wasn’t, the lady clinging to him was his twin sister, we both laughed and he said Today he’s not letting me get away again, I got up from my seat, with tears running down my eyes, at this time everyone was holding their breath, waiting for what I would say, I looked into his eyes , smiled and whispered “Yes I will Marry you” The whole room erupted, everyone was clapping and cheering, Bolaji lifted me up and gave me the most amazing, sweet kiss ever, he held onto me like I was going to vanish if he let me go, I was so shocked and happy at the same time. Surprise surprise, we were married 3 months later.
It’s been 8 years now, we have a 7-year-old son and twin daughters who are 5, and we are currently on a flight to Orlando Florida, in America, with my mum. She has since moved to the city to live with us.Bolaji and I are very Blessed, happy and successful, we have restaurants and lounges all over the country which we run together.
God Almighty has Promises in store for me, I was just in a hurry, the lesson I’ve learned is, God’s promises will always be fulfilled in our lives if we believe and have faith but only in his own time, all we’ve got to do is wait…….


  1. And isn’t this so amazing,
    God is never late, he is, has been and will always be on time.
    Waiting on God’s promises to come to pass might be hard, but at the end of it all, we will always see it was worth it after all.
    This just encouraged me more.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.