“Mama, please don’t do this to me, I love him.” “I’m sorry, dear. You can’t get married. He’s AS, and you are AS. I already explained the likelihood of you having a child with SS (sickle cell) is 1 in 3. Please, my darling, didn’t you see what my sister went through? And at the end, Kanmi, her son died at the ripe age of 18.” “Please, my love, I can’t sit here and watch you go through that.”
“But, Mum, as you said, it’s a 1 in 3 chance. We might decide to have two.” “It doesn’t matter. My friend had a first, no problem, then had twins next, and both were SS. Can you imagine the agony for the kids and the heartache for the parents? Prevention is better than cure. You cannot marry that boy, and that is final.”
This was the conversation between a mother and daughter when the mother found out, through the family doctor, that her daughter and her intended were both genotype AS.
It’s amazing how many factors need to be considered before starting a relationship with someone. Before, I would say a meaningful relationship, but now it doesn’t matter if you intend to make it meaningful or not.
A widowed gentleman in his 60s once told me that he asked a woman over 50 out, and the first thing the woman brought out from her handbag was her negative HIV test result. She then asked him for his. “No romance without HIV negative result, LOL.”
It does make one laugh, but the truth is all these things matter these days, along with asking the questions:
Why am I getting married?
What are your plans for the future?
What are your expectations?
It must not be about looks because looks will fade.
It mustn’t be about material things because they can come or go anytime.
How many children do you want, or do you even want children?
Where are we going to settle down after you get married, which country, state, or area?
Are you going to ask your wife to stop work once you start having children?
Is either of your relations going to live with you?
If you practice different religions, which one are the children going to be introduced to?
And for the guys, see your future wife without makeup, body enhancers, and all. Very important. No surprises on the night of the wedding.
There are loads of other things to talk about. We will discuss that from tomorrow, like must your wife know how to cook, should you tell each other about ex-relationships, must his or her parents be wealthy, must he or she already be working? etc.
For now, do have a blessed day.