Have you ever wondered why there are so many single people in their 30s and 40s?
We conducted a little survey of singles in the above age bracket, and here are some of the reasons they gave, in no particular order:
- What’s the point of getting married when everybody is getting divorced?
- Most couples I know are not happy.
- Can’t find the right person for me.
- My parents got divorced when I was a child, and we were better for it.
- I want a rich man.
- I don’t want anyone to control me.
- I don’t need a man.
- The women today are too materialistic.
- There are no real men out there.
- I am not ready.
- Almost all my married friends cheat on their wives, so why not stay single and have different women?
- Women are more trouble than they are worth.
- I can’t find a faithful man.
And so on.
Here are the reasons children between the ages of 10 to 17 gave when asked what they thought about marriage:
- “Not sure I want to, my mum is unhappy most of the time because dad is hardly at home.”
- “My mum and dad are always yelling at each other.”
- “My parents got divorced, now my sister and I live with my mum, we hardly get to see our dad.”
- “My dad slaps my mum sometimes, and she cries. I don’t like it when my dad does that. He always apologizes after.”
- “My dad won’t let my mum work, and she’s unhappy and takes it out on my sisters and me.”
- “I want a kind man like my dad; he treats us really well.”
- “I want a woman like my mum; she does everything my dad asks and does not argue with him.” And so on.
From the various responses, it’s obvious several respondents have formed their opinions about marriage based on their experiences. You only know what you have lived through. That shapes your mind and subconsciously affects every decision you make.
I believe the older generation, parents, and role models owe it to young people and future generations to show the positive side of marriage. As parents, work on your relationships. Let your children see how amazing loving someone can be. Try not to argue in front of your children. Don’t use them as blackmail tools. Teach them to respect each other and the best way to talk through disagreements. Above all, teach them by your actions about love and forgiveness.