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Life Begins at 50: Embracing the Second Act
Long before now, the saying “Life begins at 40” was the norm. But with our ever-changing lives, it’s clear that life truly begins at 50.
Embracing the Second Act: Life Flourishes at 50
As life moves along, one day you wake up and realize you’re in your fifties. It’s a remarkable act—a blend of nostalgia, resilience, and newfound purpose. And it’s great.
- Shedding the Illusions:
At 50, you discard the rose-tinted glasses. The illusions of invincibility and eternal youth fade away. You recognize your imperfections, laugh lines, and grey hairs as badges of honour. Authenticity becomes your mantra, and you wear it with grace.
- Shed societal expectations and embrace authenticity.
- Reflect on your values, passions, and dreams.
- Be unapologetically you—flaws, quirks, and all.
- Lessons as Your Teacher:
The past five decades have been your classroom. You’ve studied heartbreak, resilience, and the art of rising from ashes. Your scars tell stories—of battles fought, dreams deferred, and victories celebrated. Wisdom isn’t just in books; it’s etched in your soul.
- Lifelong learning keeps your mind sharp.
- Take up new hobbies, explore interests, and read voraciously.
- Attend workshops, join clubs, and engage with diverse perspectives.
- Rediscovering Dreams:
Remember those dreams you tucked away in the attic of responsibilities? At 50, you dust them off. Whether it’s learning to play the guitar, writing that novel, or travelling to distant lands, you embrace your forgotten aspirations. These dreams become your compass, guiding you toward fulfilment.
- Prioritize health and wellness.
- Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep are non-negotiable.
- Listen to your body; it’s your best guide.
- Consider mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga.
- True Connections:
Gone are the days of superficial conversations. At 50, you seek soul connections; the kind that stirs your heart. You cherish old friends who’ve weathered life’s storms alongside you. And you open your arms to new companions, knowing that shared laughter heals wounds.
- Cultivate meaningful connections with family, friends, and community.
- Reconnect with old friends and make new ones.
- Share stories, laughter, and experiences—it’s soul-nourishing.
- Embracing Reinvention:
Life at 50 isn’t about holding onto the past; You switch careers, explore hobbies, and redefine success. The canvas of your existence awaits fresh strokes. You become an artist, painting your second act with bold colours.
- The world awaits! Travel to and far.
- Immerse yourself in different cultures, savour local cuisine, and marvel at natural wonders.
- Create memories that enrich your soul.
- Health as Wealth:
Your body, once a temple of youthful exuberance, now bears witness to time’s passage. But health isn’t about chasing elusive perfection; it’s about vitality. You walk, stretch, and savour wholesome meals. You understand that wellness is your greatest wealth.
- Dust off those forgotten dreams.
- Whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, or gardening, dive in.
- Passion fuels purpose.
- Legacy in Moments:
As you reflect on your legacy, you realize it’s not about bank balances or titles. It’s about the moments you create—the laughter shared over coffee, the handwritten letters, the sunsets witnessed alone on a mountaintop. Your legacy is woven into these simple, profound threads.
- Mentor, volunteer, or support causes you’re passionate about.
- Your legacy isn’t just about wealth; it’s about impact.
- Plant seeds for future generations.
Conclusion
Compare your parents’ lives at 50 to your own. Notice the resilience, the authenticity, and the quiet courage. Life isn’t a race; it’s a symphony. At 50, you step onto the stage, your heart tuned to the melody of experience. The spotlight is yours, and the encore awaits. Live, enjoy, and be happy.
Remember: Life doesn’t merely begin at 50; it dances, sings, and whispers secrets only the seasoned heart can hear. Embrace this second act with open arms, my friend. The best chapters are yet to unfold!
YOUR BEST LIFE: Successes, Contentment and Happiness
Story 1: Self-Love and Relationships
Title: The Journey of Self-Love
Sarah had always been a people-pleaser. She found it difficult to say no, often putting others’ needs before her own. This habit became particularly pronounced in her relationship with her boyfriend, Mark. She would cancel her plans, ignore her own needs, and constantly seek his approval, believing that her happiness was dependent on making him happy.
One day, Sarah’s friend, Emily, noticed how drained and unhappy Sarah seemed. Emily suggested that Sarah attend a self-love workshop with her. Sceptical but desperate for change, Sarah agreed.
At the workshop, Sarah learned about the importance of self-love and how it was the foundation for healthy relationships. She realized that loving herself was not selfish; it was necessary. She started practising self-care routines, setting boundaries, and taking time for her own interests and hobbies.
As Sarah’s self-love grew, so did her confidence. She communicated her needs to Mark and found that he respected her more for it. Their relationship improved because Sarah no longer depended on Mark for her happiness. She brought her best self to the relationship, and they both benefited.
Sarah’s journey of self-love taught her that the healthiest relationships are those where both partners value and respect themselves. By loving herself, Sarah found the strength to nurture her relationship with Mark, creating a more balanced and fulfilling connection.
Story 2: Ambition and Contentment
Title: The Balance of Ambition
John had a stable job as an accountant at a reputable firm. He was good at his job and earned a decent salary, but he constantly felt the pressure to achieve more. He wanted a promotion, a higher salary, and more recognition. He worked long hours, often sacrificing time with his family and friends.
One evening, after missing yet another family dinner, John sat down with his wife, Laura. She expressed her concerns about his work-life balance and how his constant striving for more was affecting their relationship. Laura reminded him of a quote by Epicurus: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you do not have; remember that what you now have was once among the things you hoped for.”
John reflected on her words. He remembered how he had once dreamed of having a stable job and a loving family. He realized that in his pursuit of more, he had neglected the blessings he already had. He decided to make a change.
John started setting boundaries at work, ensuring he left on time to spend evenings with his family. He found contentment in his current position and appreciated the stability it provided. With a more balanced approach, John discovered that he could still be ambitious while being content with what he had. His productivity at work improved, and he was eventually promoted, not because he chased it, but because he performed well within a balanced life.
John’s story illustrates that ambition and contentment can coexist. By appreciating what he had while working towards his goals, he found a healthier and more fulfilling path.
Story 3: Believing in Yourself and Achieving Goals
Title: The Power of Belief
Alex had always dreamed of starting his own business. He had a great idea for a sustainable clothing line but was plagued by self-doubt. He wondered if he had the skills, the knowledge, or the resources to succeed. Fear of failure held him back.
One day, while browsing a bookstore, Alex stumbled upon a book about self-belief and achieving goals. Inspired, he decided to give it a read. The book emphasized that believing in oneself is the first step towards success. It shared stories of entrepreneurs who had overcome self-doubt and achieved great things by believing in their potential.
Motivated, Alex decided to take small steps towards his dream. He started by researching the market, creating a business plan, and networking with other entrepreneurs. Each small achievement boosted his confidence. He realized that the more he believed in himself, the more he accomplished.
As months passed, Alex launched his sustainable clothing line. It wasn’t easy, and there were setbacks, but his belief in himself kept him going. His business slowly gained traction, and he started receiving positive feedback from customers.
One evening, while reflecting on his journey, Alex realized that the biggest obstacle he had overcome was his own self-doubt. By believing in himself, he had unlocked his potential and achieved his goal. His success wasn’t just about the business; it was about the transformation within himself.
Alex’s story highlights the power of self-belief in achieving goals. When you believe in yourself, you take the necessary steps, face challenges head-on, and ultimately turn your dreams into reality.
How They Influence Each Other
These stories illustrate how self-love, ambition, contentment, and self-belief are interconnected and influence each other in daily life. Sarah’s journey of self-love improved her relationship with Mark, demonstrating that loving yourself first enhances your relationships. John’s balanced approach to ambition and contentment showed that appreciating what you have doesn’t hinder your goals but rather supports them. Alex’s belief in himself enabled him to achieve his dreams, proving that self-belief is crucial for success.
Together, these self-help concepts contribute to a fulfilling and balanced life. By loving ourselves, setting realistic goals, appreciating our current blessings, and believing in our potential, we can navigate life’s challenges more effectively and achieve our aspirations. These principles reinforce each other, creating a solid foundation for personal growth and happiness.
Contentment: Keys to a Joyful Life
A city exemplifies the essence of contentment’s newly established Dream-life Store, a unique place where individuals select their ideal life. At the entrance, a set of instructions displayed prominently, emphasizing a critical rule: You may only visit this store once. The store comprises six floors, with the desirability of dreams increasing as one ascends. Shoppers have the freedom to pick from a floor’s offerings or proceed to the next level, but once they advance, there is no turning back, except to leave the building.
A man ventures into the Dream-life Store in search of his deepest desires and aspirations. On the first floor, a sign by the door proclaims:
Floor 1 – Attain the finest job in the world.
Intrigued, he proceeds to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – Obtain the finest job, the most exquisite clothing, and a luxurious car.
He ponders, “This is enticing, but I yearn for more.” Thus, he continues his ascent. Upon reaching the third floor, the sign declares:
Floor 3 – Attain the finest job, exquisite clothing, luxurious cars, cherished friends, and boundless wealth.
Impressed, he exclaims, “This is extraordinary!” However, he senses an irresistible urge to keep moving forward. The journey takes him to the fourth floor, where the sign beckons:
Floor 4 – Secure the finest job, exquisite clothing, a palatial estate, luxurious cars, boundless wealth, a cherished spouse, and precious offspring.
Overwhelmed, he exclaims, “It’s almost too much to bear!” Nevertheless, he presses on to the fifth floor, where the sign announces:
Floor 5 – Attain the finest job, exquisite clothing, a palatial estate, luxurious cars, boundless wealth, a cherished spouse, precious offspring, and robust health.
He is sorely tempted to remain here, but his curiosity pushes him to the sixth floor, where he encounters a sign that reads:
Floor 6 – You are the 99,999,001st visitor to this floor. No Dreamlife here. This floor merely exists to illustrate that humanity is insatiable. Thank you for choosing the Dream-life Store.
In the end, the man realizes the profound truth that contentment can be elusive and that pursuing ever-greater dreams often leads to an endless quest, highlighting the challenging nature of human satisfaction.
A famous quote says, “When you are discontent, you always want more, more, more. Your desire can never be satisfied. But when you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘Oh yes – I already have everything that I really need.”
Make the best of what you have.
Life, like lemons
Life doesn’t always give you lemons. Sometimes it gives you bananas, apples or oranges and you still have to make the best of them. Smoothies, juices, pastes, bakes, etc.
Several times we see what others have and either get jealous, depressed and sad, because we want the same thing.
As a result, we are constantly miserable thinking and stressing about what we don’t have. Sometimes this leads to desperation and wrong decision making.
You need to stop and think about things logically, because sometimes what you see, is not always the situation.
The scenario:
A Husband was driving his young wife to work in a brand-new car. He would drop her off every morning and pick her up after work. One day, it was raining heavily, and they got caught up in early morning traffic. As she sat there wondering when the traffic would ease up. She looked to her side and saw a scene unfold. A man also driving his wife to walk, had pulled up to the curb, got out of the car in the heavy rain, and ran over to the other side of the car to open the car door for his wife.
Oh my gosh, the young wife watching this unfold could not believe what she was seeing. She thought to herself, “Oh dear lord, which is love. That man loves his wife so much, that he got into the rain to open the door for his wife. Lord, why can’t my husband be like him? I wish that man is my husband.
The true story:
The young lady’s husband is an amazing man.
The admired couple: the real reason the man got out of the car to open the car door for his wife is this. The car was old. Most things in the car don’t work, including the open-door latch and the button to roll down the car window. So, there was no way for his wife to exit the car, unless he got out to open it. it wasn’t out of chivalry, but out of no choice.
Now, would the young lady still wish to be married to the man, if she knew the reason for his action?
This short story depicts the reality of life in most situations. You don’t know the reality, you just see what they want you to see, and you obsess with wanting the same thing.
Hold out your hand and look at your fingers. Are they equal? No, they are not but don’t they each have a different function that makes your hand work properly? The middle finger is the most important for grip strength. The ring finger and the pinky are the next most important. The index finger surely has its pointy possibility. That Palm is amazing, strong, resilient, and very useful.
Even though they are all different, they all are good at what they do.
The same goes for you. You are unique with your own strengths and weaknesses. You just have to look inward and realize all that God has given you. Focus on being grateful for what you have, rather than focus on what you don’t have.
The reality of life is that no one has the best of everything, they just make the best of what they have.
MY BEAUTY
There was a certain old lady who sat in front of her house in an old rocking chair every morning. All she did was shake her head and bite her nails. Most people thought she was not particularly alright, no one came to visit her and she didn’t go anywhere. The only company she had, was a very little old dog who could barely walk or see.
One day Pretty, who had gone to spend time with her grandmother noticed the old women next door from her bedroom window. It was the motionless dog that first caught her attention, she had a puppy at home. She got curious and decided to sit on her verandah, which overlooked the old woman’s compound. She watched as the old women came out of her house, put the dog in front of her, stared at it and started to shake her head and bite her nails. This went on from around 8am in the morning until 2pm.the old women went into her house came out again around 5 pm and repeated the whole process until 8pm, when she retired for the night. Pretty watched her for a whole week often falling asleep while watching.
Pretty decided it was time to go talk to the woman. So the next day, when her grandma went to a church program, she went into the old woman’s compound. Surprisingly, the old woman stopped staring at the dog, got up and walked towards her. She froze as the old woman got closer, then she asked Pretty the strangest question, “Have I been forgiven?” Pretty didn’t even know when she said “Yes Ma’am”. The old woman suddenly started to cry, held Pretty tight and was dancing and singing and praising God. She led her into the house and asked her to give her just a few minutes.
While the old woman was gone, Pretty looked around the room, the house was exquisite inside, beautiful furniture, curtains, pictures on the wall taken in Paris, London, New York, She was thinking to herself, I would love to go to these places and dress in all this elegant clothes, she looked around some more and found jewelry and beautiful clothes in a trunk in the corner.
Just then the old woman came out, she was beautiful, she had changed into a beautiful kaftan, combed her hair and put it in a bun, with a dash of makeup, Pretty was surprised and the old woman didn’t look so old anymore, now she looked so much like the woman in the picture. Pretty said to the old woman,“Ma’am, you are so beautiful, I want to be just like you”, the old woman said to Pretty, “no, dear, you definitely don’t want to be anything like me”, as she spoke She saw the shock and questionable look in Pretty’s eyes, She gently led her to a chair to sit down, then she said My Angel, let me tell you why you never want to be like me , this is my story-
My parents named me Beauty, because I came out of my mother’s womb very beautiful, my hair was full, my cheeks were red and it was as if I came with natural makeup. Everyone praised my parents for calling me beauty, they couldn’t have given me a better name. Unfortunately, I was their only child, so they spoilt me rotten with all they had. My parents saved every penny to move to Lagos, just to make sure I was exposed to the best they could find. My father got a job with a white man as his chef and my mum worked as a nurse.
The white man had a daughter, her name was lily, she was just a year older than me at the time I met her, she was 10 and I, 9. Lily was mixed race, her mum was black. She had died from cancer a year before then. We struck it off immediately, her father was happy, up until then she had remained in her shell. He asked me to move into the spare bedroom in their house, it was beautiful, made up with pink and white accessories. He enrolled me in lily’s private school and in a few months we were as close as sisters.
My father was still the chef, he came from home and saw me every day once he resumed work, my mum would come Saturdays and Sundays to wash and do some housework and spend time plaiting my hair and lily’s. It was fun. Then everything changed a year later. It was on the day of my 10t birthday, we had invited all our school friends over to the house, my parents were there, they had managed to buy a new some new clothes, Lily’s dad was busy running around and organizing the children, we had a DJ, bouncy castles and all. When it was time to cut the cake, my parents were called to cut the cake with me, all the kids expected lily’s dad to come first, but my parents the chef and cleaner came, it wouldn’t have mattered, but one of the girls who had come for a sleep over before then shouted, beauty your parents are the chef and cleaner, and everyone started to laugh, it was as if the ground should open and swallow me, I ran inside, refused to come back out until everyone went home, I wouldn’t even speak to my parents for the whole day.
That day it dawned on me, no matter how much a hen tries to be like a peacock, it will always be a hen, but I was going to change that. Thankfully, it was the end of our stay in primary school, Lily and I were starting secondary school after summer. My parents finally got to talk to me and they apologized for embarrassing me, but the did was done, a seed of resentment had been planted in me, I resented them for embarrassing me and I was not going to let it happen ever again.
Just before summer ended, Lily’s father called my parents for a meeting, lily and I were also there, he told them he wanted their blessing, lily was off to Switzerland, a girls boarding secondary /finishing school and he wanted me to go along. My mum was a bit hesitant, but my father said, of course, it will be their dream. That’s how I went to Switzerland with lily. We didn’t come back home until we finished 6 years later.
The first day I stepped back in the country, I was different, I had an English accent, I was very beautiful, my skin was flawless and I was proud. As I walked out of the arrival lounge at the airport with lily, my mum tried to hug me, but I gently pushed her away and said hello by stretching out my hand, she didn’t care she took my hand and kissed it, right there and there, I took out a handkerchief and wiped off her mouth from my hand and said, ewwwh!!
I had become different, I called lily’s father, Dad, my dad, chef John and my mum, Ms. Mariam, my parents loved me, even feared my rejection more, so they accepted whatever I called them, they were just proud and happy I was going to have a much better life than they could ever give me.
. That lasted 6months before Lily and I were whisked off to New York to NYU. Lily for film and photography, I for fashion design, that didn’t last long, I dropped out of NYU, the day I was discovered on 5h avenue. A scout offered to photograph me and that was it, I became a model. Lilly’s father came to New York, he wasn’t happy that I dropped out of university, he felt I could still study part-time and model at the same time, but I told him off and said he wasn’t my father, so he couldn’t tell me what to do. The poor man left me alone after that. I didn’t go see lily anymore, I had moved out of the apartment near NYU her father had gotten for us. I was a model now all that stuff was beneath me.
Paris, New York, Milan, Singapore, contracts came, money came, soon I was on billboards and magazines all over. When I turned 24, I met a young man. He was fine, I was shopping at Macy’s when he walks up to me and says. Nubian queen, I have been searching for you all my life. I looked up and saw this handsome Arab man. One thing led to another, he flew me back to the UAE. We got married and I became his wife, I didn’t know what I had gotten myself into, the only witness I had was a friend from New York, she came with me for the wedding and flew back a week later.
I beauty, used to freedom, walking around half naked, I was forcefully constricted into Islam, forced to wear a hijab, and learnt the hard way, after a few slaps not to talk when being spoken to. My handsome prince married 3 others after me, I was miserable but rich. Was treated like a prisoner for the fear that I might run away, my passport had been seized a long time ago. I had 2 sons for my husband, they turned out to be his, not mine because I could never tell them to do anything without them confirming with their father first.
On my 35th birthday, my husband asked me to make a wish, I asked to go back to New York to shop and take a holiday, up until then I had been a good wife, prayed 5 times a day, served and obeyed. So my wish was granted, my sister in law will accompany me he said. That was fine. We set out for a 2 week all expenses paid luxury holiday. We were to stay at the Ritz Charlton hotel. We arrived, checked into adjoining rooms. The first few nights I just slept, my sister in law wanted to go out, but I said I didn’t, so the 3rd day she left me and went shopping, that was my opportunity. I still had my bank account in New York, but no card, went into the bank, reactivated my account with my passport, got a card and withdrew a large sum of money. Went straight to the airport without my luggage and bought a one way ticket to my country and that’s how I landed back here at 35.
I had nobodys phone no, didn’t even remember my way around or how to get home, even if I did and lily’s father was still there, after the way I treated him, I didn’t think I could face him, so I asked a taxi to take me to the nearest hotel, I had a lot of money in new York and I had the card with me. I also had lots of cash on me. I paid for 6 months at the hotel and settled in. The next few days I got the taxi to take me cloth shopping , soon I had enough clothes , shoes and bags to wear for a while. I didn’t even know where my parents were.
One day I was lounging by the pool and a man came to talk to me, he was posh and rich, but that wasn’t my thing, I was posh and rich, too. We became friends, I felt comfortable enough with him, but I only told him I just relocated from New York and I want to go into the fashion business. So he invited me to his office and in 6 months, I had a boutique. He helped to do all that with my money.
We only started dating after that, he proposed on my 37th birthday, coincidentally, he was 39 and single, so we hit it off.
I had gotten married to him before I realized he was a real family traditional man. My first challenge was with his family, they were all over the place, in and out of our house, I couldn’t stand that. First his mum complained that my puppy must go, she was allergic to it. In my house, she was joking, I made her life miserable. One day we were arguing and she pushed me out of the way and I pushed her back. She fell and hit her back, was hospitalized for a week. Of course I blamed her and my hubby supported me. He was totally in love. I was pregnant with twins at the time. Anyway to summarize, I had the twins in London, came back and gave my husband an ultimatum, his family out of our house or I go back to New York with the twins, 1 girl and 1 boy. He buckled and sent them back to the village.
All through this I wouldn’t let him go see them, he just sent them money, his family abandoned our house and that suited me fine, I didn’t have any, so why should he.
On my 50th birthday, we got a call that my mum in law was about to die, her son should come, I bluntly through a tantrum, how could he leave me on my 50th to go anywhere. Needless to say, his mum died without seeing him, but not without cursing me. I found out later, I will come back to that.
I think I was 53 or 54 when I ran into an old woman, I was coming out of my car with a friend in front of her supermarket, when this old woman, came to me and said beauty is that you? I looked at her from top to toe and asked how you know my name. The woman fell on the floor and was crying and praising God. That was my mother, she was around 77 or 78. Of course, I denied her that day, put my hand in my bag, gave her a wad of money with my business card folded in it, so my friend couldn’t see.
A day later I got a call from an unknown no and I picked it up, it was my mother, I asked where she was and I went to see her and my father, they lived in the house lily’s father had given them, the house I grew up in, he had gone back to America and left them the house and a car. The rest, he had given to his other workers, but my parents were like family to him so they got more. The house was too big for them to maintain after a while, so it was looking pretty run down. I sat there not knowing what to say. After a while, I asked them for an account no, issued a check enough to fix the house and keep them for a while, then promised to give them a monthly allowance. I asked for my business card back, told them I had moved from the address and my no had changed, I promised to be back the next day with new details. I never went back, but I kept sending them money, to me that was enough, I couldn’t be ridiculed again by them.
Then when I turned 59, my husband suddenly fell ill and died from a heart attack, without a will. My in-laws pounced on me, all my money they claimed was his, they locked up my boutique, before I got home my house was locked from the gate. Everything I owned was in there, I still had one bank card with my name on me, the rest were in my husband’s account, my children were gone. Then I got a text with the curse my mum in law had left for me, “Beauty, as I have died alone without my son, so shall you, you and your stupid dog, you will regret for the rest of your life, what you did to me, no one will look for you and you will be alone until the day God himself forgives you and someone decides to show mercy on you and comes to visit”
I thought it was a joke, with the little I had left, I bought this bungalow, my dog was tied outside the gate, with that trunk box you see in the corner filed with all you see here. That’s all I have from my whole life. When it was locked I had it with me and since then I have been in this house, I have 4 children don’t know where they are, no one comes here and I have no one to see, until you showed up and I knew I had been forgiven.
So you see my dear child, my life was a waste, I thought my beauty would get me anywhere and anything, I was wrong, I was too proud to accept anyone, not even my parents, now see how I ended up. “You are called Pretty, Let your name be your character, have a pretty life, bring beauty into the world and infect people with your love, be a blessing and make a difference everywhere you go, let people see the glory and beauty of God in you. God bless you, my child.
Please leave a comment below. Thank you.
she heals copyright @2017,Image from freepik.
DOMESTIC ABUSE IS REAL
We had our first argument last night. He said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me. I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me. It seemed like a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was real! I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today, and it wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day for that matter.
Last night, he beat me up again. It was so much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do? How will I take care of my kids? Where would we go? How can I possibly start over? What about money? Who else would have me and love me? I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today. Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me. He beat me to death. If only I had enough courage to leave him, I would not have gotten flowers today.
Domestic abuse is real.
The fact is, domestic violence is real, and it’s happening all around us today. You must not keep it to yourself; seek help from your pastor, imam, parents, or even try couples counseling. If it continues, you might have to involve the police or leave the abusive partner.
Domestic violence causes physical injuries, dysfunctional families, and broken relationships. Most sufferers become isolated from family and friends, lose their source of income or work, even run away from the abusive relationship in order to survive. They also suffer from emotional and psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, or lowered sense of self-worth, poor health, and even physical injuries. Some even end up being killed.
A marriage that is based on God’s love and puts God first in everything they do will weather all storms without one partner being abusive to the other. Violence is never the answer. (Please note that domestic violence is not limited to women only; a few men also suffer this from their wives.)
WHAT NOW ? 2
He came across as really innocent-looking. I looked up from my books at the library, and there was this fairly handsome guy. I say “fairly” handsome because his clothes were untidy, but his face looked good. He asked if the seat opposite me was taken; I said yes, it was reserved for a friend of mine. He said, “Okay, let me sit there until she gets in.” So I said, “Okay.” He opened his book, not sure what it was, read for a few minutes, then said, “Can I ask you a question?” I said yes. He said, “Why don’t you want to date anyone? We have tried to get you fixed up with all kinds of boys, but you turn them down. What do you want? Or is it that you don’t want to go there?” “Go there?” I asked, “What do you mean?” I knew exactly what he meant, but I wasn’t about to get into that conversation with him, no way.
The funny thing, looking back to all those years ago, was that my coping mechanism was not to date. I wanted to keep myself intact, and I knew the only way to do that was not to date. I didn’t know any other way. I didn’t get sex education classes. All I was made to believe was touch a boy and get pregnant. I remember I wasn’t the only one told that. A friend told me recently that one day she came home from school crying her eyes out. She was so distraught her mum called her and asked what the matter was. She broke down and told her mum she was pregnant. Her mum asked what she meant. She said a boy in school hugged her unexpectedly. Her mum looked at her up and down and said, “Don’t worry, you are not pregnant yet. The boy only hugged you for a few seconds. If he hugged you for a few seconds more, you would be pregnant by now.” Oh my gosh! She lived with that fear and belief for a long, long time.
As for me, I was lucky. I had two brothers who were ladies’ men. Stories they sat down and told about women with their friends were enough to knock me right into shape. One day, I heard them and some friends laughing and joking about how each of them had dated the same girl and dumped her because she was rude to another friend of theirs. They had all had their fun before she realized they were all friends and had planned it. That day I vowed no man would ever do that to me. I was going to keep myself until I got married.
Well, what I didn’t realize at the time was that it was going to be a very tough challenge. I was young and naive, very impressionable. I didn’t factor in a lot of things. For starters, feelings…
WHAT NOW?
What’s the matter? Why does it always pick up, then slow down, and then pick up again? My emotions, that’s what I’m trying to talk about here. Why can’t they be in one place? Why do they have to run around like a yo-yo? One day it’s “Yes, please, I will take two of each,” the next it’s “Absolutely not, this is disgusting.” My PA, Anna, has won so much from me because, she said, “Ma’am, for every time you say ‘terrible’ or ‘disgusting,’ I get one dollar.” In one day, she made $20.
I’ve got to watch what I say, especially when being around her. I’m not sure how much I owe now, but it should be a tidy sum when I’m expected to pay. Not sure, but I will have to somehow.
Have you ever sat down and thought of a wealthy and powerful friend, business acquaintance, or relation and thought to yourself, “That’s the one I need. He’s going to be my ticket out of all these money issues I’m in.” Not that I don’t have any, I just need a lot more to invest in some projects.
Come on, it’s not rocket science. You always invest in a business with other people’s money, but make sure you are not cheated out of your wonderful business idea.
It’s not fair. You know, I was working it out in my head, why is it that atheists and unbelievers have tons of money, and us churchgoing, Jesus-loving born-again Christians don’t have two pennies to rub together most of the time. Well, I found out why.
God said in his word Deuteronomy 28:12, “The Lord will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations, but borrow from none…”
Now, notice the key word here, “bless the work of your hands.” Which means you have to work on something for it to be blessed. Remember the faithful servants in the Bible to whom the master gave talents, and two invested but one buried it. What happened? The one who buried his talent had it taken from him and given to the one who had multiplied his.
God is talking to you here. What have you done lately with all that God has given you? All you complain about is “no money, no money.” I am telling you today, not all businesses need money to start. You can provide a service and get paid for it.
Well, I know Christians, born again, who just fast and pray for days and weeks and ask God to bring millions into their bank account.
I have good news for you. You will not get any fat added to you from fasting all the time, but you will also not get a dime added to your bank account from not working with your hands.
God said, “I will provide all your needs.” That’s why you are still alive. You eat maybe once or twice a day, breathe, etc., but as for your wants, you’ve got to go out there and get it.
Okay, people, enough of my carrying on. I’ve got a meeting now. I will be right back.
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EXCERPTS:
MRS: I heard a scream, and then it got louder. Then a voice saying, “Please, I’m sorry, it’s the devil,” and I woke up, thinking it must have been a dream. But as my ears and eyes adjusted, I heard the screams again. It was 3 a.m. So, I opened the sliding door in the bedroom, and now I heard it clearer. It was a woman’s voice, pleading and begging for forgiveness. It actually took me a while to figure out it was coming from next door, Muyi’s house to be exact. I ran out of my room to one of our spare bedrooms where Fatima was asleep, woke her up, and asked her to come listen to something strange.
She stretched, grumbled a bit, but eventually got out of bed and came with me. As we stood on the balcony, we heard the screams again. “Please, please, I’m sorry.” That’s when Fatima said, “That sounds like that girl who came here to insult us. Temitope’s friend?” “No! It can’t be,” I replied. “Why would she be begging someone in the middle of the night?” But Fatima insisted she was the one. We contemplated going to find out, but we finally decided to just stay there and listen.
After a while, we heard another voice. This time it was definitely Temitope. We heard, “Mr. Godwin (that was Muyi’s security man), please push this good-for-nothing woman out of my house.” Wow! I’m sorry. I know it’s not nice to laugh at other people’s misfortunes, but we couldn’t help it. This was the woman who practically insulted us a few days ago. Now she was being kicked out of her best friend’s house at midnight. “What could she have done?” I asked Fatima…….
MR…….As we turned into our estate, two cars followed. I didn’t notice at first, but the gateman asked if they were with us, and we said no. Immediately, I called Col. Isa and asked if he put a tail on us, and he said, “Yes, I did. I need to make sure you are not trying to leave town without giving me a positive answer. I’ve instructed my men to detain you if you try to drive to the airport.”
“What? Are you serious?” I asked. He laughed and replied, “As serious as a heart attack. The stability of the government will be at stake if the wrong one becomes Senate President. All we need is for you to agree to work with us to get the one we want.”
And guess who they want? You won’t believe it, even if I told you. But no way, am I going to agree to work to get him to be Senate President. The baffling question is, how did they rig his name on the ballot and get him to win an election he didn’t even contest for? …….